How can I change and become something I'm not?

so yeah i haven't posted in like a month, which I'm very sorry for those of you who care, but I've been soo busy this school year it's been nuts work has been going AWESOME I love my job. I'm not to fond that all the managers are gay, but as long as they don't hit on me then I'm good. Just this past month or so a lady got hired on and her name is Karen. She's 27. She's my new manager . Lets just say she decided to give me a "job well done" gift if you know what i mean. Ever since my ex (wont mention names) broke up with me, it feels like I've been happier than ever

sorry i haven't been posting much lately. i've been real busy with work and school and other things. but hopefully in two or 3 weeks i'll be able to get on more often because im completing a one credit class that will free like 2 hours more for me. 

i'm having a hard time with my college physics class. does anyone know something that could help me or can anyone help me?

something really weird and scary but kinda cool happened today at work. it was about 7:30 earlier this evening and I informed my manager, Linda, that i was told by these customers (some very hot teenager customers about my age) that there was a group of guys about 3 of them and they were suspected of stealing stuff. I work at a Hastings so stealing happens a lot there.My little brother came and dropped off something for me to eat and I was talking with him after I told Linda to help me keep an eye on that group of guys, when one of the guys comes from the back of the store where the software is and where we keep the cans of air dust remover. All of you know that if you breath in the propellant you get a little bit of a high, but if you get to much it could kill you. Well this IDIOT and i capitalize it because he truly is an idiot, walks over to my music desk (and I'm standing with my brother by the entrance to my department) and all of a sudden he stumbles, runs into the little stool by the desk, runs into the desk, and collapses to his right knocking over a rack that has Halo 3 reservation cards. And he's laying there with his hands curled up to his chest ( i forgot what the medical term is) and his eyes rolled back in his head. Everyone thought he was having a seizure but Linda walked back from where he came from and found the can of air dust remover, and it was cold like it feels after someone has sprayed it. When he collapsed one of the customers called for an ambulance but before they got there the dude got up and walked out like nothing happened. That tells you something about our medical field down here. So.......I had an eventful evening. Can anyone top that story?

well, I've kept this kind of hush hush the past....ohhhh 8 months or so, but back in the very beginning of February, like the 31st of January or the first of February, I had gone into a chat room because i had been hurt real bad by my previous ex from work that just tore me up. She basically told me that she's not my type and there isn't anything in the world i can do about it to change anything. So for comfort and to help the major depression stage i was going through, i went into a chat room to chat with people and get stuff off my mind. Now my ex broke up with me at the beginning of januray, so i was going through a real hard time between then and the beginning of February. One night i went in there and it was about 11 or around midnight and this girl I.M.'d me. I can't remember her screen name, but thats not the important part. We talked for a few hours or so on msn and i had to head off to bed because i had college that next morning at 10. Well as the months went on we talked and got to know each other more and it turns out we have more things in common with each other than my little brother and I. We like almost everything the same. Same food types, same music (except she likes rap and i HATE rap with a passion) same subjects in school, almost everything. Shes 3 and a half years younger than i am and still in high school. BUT.....heres the catch. She lives 2,000 miles north of me in this little town called Edson Alberta Canada. I am determined to meet her one of these days because honestly........i think shes the one. Everything she does makes me happy, even though shes so far away. Now, in june i'm going to Kennewick Washington for my step sisters graduation, and Kennewick is like 1,500 miles away or so. Now i've talked with her about her flying down with her mom over christmas break, and she said that might work. But we can only hope for the best. Oh and I'm trying to raise as much money AS I POSSIBLY CAN so if anyone has any ideas at all on how i can earn money other than my job, please please please please please give me some advice

i can feel my bottom wisdom tooth coming in already . its already breaking the surface and i'll probably have to get that one too pulled within a month or so...*sigh* plus i have to fix a stupid lawn mower today before work at noon (which is in like 2 hours)

i get the feeling that everyone dislikes me now. it feels like now that everyone is moving away to college and leaving their friends, everyone is mad at the first person they see and it just so happens to be me. im losing a bunch of my  friends too you know 

chicken noodle soup is like the best medicine for everything, depression, tooth extractions, stress, you name it, chicken noodle soup fixes it

omg my mouth......my mouth huuuuuuuuuuurts. its not even getting my mind off the other pain that i feel. when will it all stop?

im going to go and lay day and take a nap and let everything stop

goody bye

just got back from the dentist with a pulled wisdom tooth......wow...it kinda hurts but im still doped up on some of the meds........oh boy im going to be feeling this in the morning *sigh* 

well i applied for my college classes today and the total bill is $700 plus $300 in books, which i have to go and pick up friday. the classes im taking are; Physics, Math 121, English 111, and all of those credits added up is 11 and full time is 12, so i took a little one credit golf class to put me up over full time. well.......its about that time i go and get that tooth pulled *shudders* i hate the dentist

im getting my wisdom tooth pulled today at 2 . maybe the pain from that will get my mind off of other things that have been om my mind .............*sigh*

why is she avoiding me? does she really hate me? or is it more of a strong dislike, seeing that hate is such a harsh word.......possibly